A day will come when we are no longer unschooling caner, and we are just unschooling. Right? I just wonder when that's going to be.
I've always resented time away from my children. Even before leukemia. As a working mom with a stay-at-home husband, I am simultaneously grateful and resentful. I want to be home. I want to play legos. I want to make dinner. I want to take the kids to the Broad St Artists Co-op for steamers (and a cup of coffee for me, of course). What's wrong with that?
But after leukemia, it's worse. During chemo, I was the primary at-home. Well, really stay-at-hospital mom. I was there changing sheets, carrying back and forth to the art table, surfing you tube for jellyfish videos.
Then chemo ended. And thank god it did. But that meant an end to at-home and a return to work. Now I shouldn't complain. My typical work week is 4 long days. So I get three days with the kids. That's better than most. But this summer we're super busy and a little understaffed, so I'm working 5-6 days a week. And all I can think about is what have I learned from all of this? "This" being leukemia, not work.
I used to think I wouldn't be a good "at-home". That Matt is more patient and has more faith in the unschooling "process". "Trust the process" ... well, that's not my style. But life in the hospital showed me that I could do it. And now I wish I was. Instead I'm off to work at 7:15 am and home after 7 pm. And I feel we're pulling farther and farther away from unschooling as our lives become more and more conventional.
So, I need to stop looking at this as unschooling cancer. That's what I did in the hospital. It's unschooling. And whether I'm home or Matt's home, our kids are free-range monkeys. Learning, growing, living.