how can you be an unschooler if you don't stay home with your kids?
well, let's see...
there's the conversation when you come home from work:
(1) when your kids asked what you did at work today (yes, my kids ask this) you actually tell them -- I sat on my ass all day OR I euthanized a cat because the owner couldn't afford treatment OR I cut out a uterus in the name of resolving the pet overpopulation problem (Sure, you might sugar-coat it a tad, but ultimately you share your life just as they share theirs)
(2) you joke with them just as you joke with your husband and friends -- "Michael did you drive the car today?" sure, it's not the exact joke you'd use with your husband ... with your husband you might say, "What did you do all day? Bang the neighbor?" But the sarcasm and jest is similar. Just a tad more age-appropriate.
(3) you READ READ READ to them - you don't come home and try to engage in a "lesson". You just read, or paint, or color, or cook, or dance, or do whatever their brains and bodies tell them it's time to do. And you don't do this only because they are your children and you are hoping to entertain them. You do this because they are lead to do it and you're their mama who wants to participate in their joy.
(4) You try as hard as you possibly can to SILENCE the inner voice that is telling you "they're not reading on the level of other 4 year old" or "painting" or "speaking" or "potty-training as fast as other 2 year olds". You remember how much you resent being compared to your colleagues. And you TRUST THE PROCESS.